By: Kamara Daughtry
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In this digital world, majority of our conflict is handled via email, text message and online. In some cases, responses can be misinterpreted through text rather than having a conversation with someone.
So, I wanted to go over some best practices on handling conflict because this also shows your maturity level. How? Because we live in a ‘Ghost-Out’ or ‘Cut-Off’ culture, where if something is bothering us instead of respectfully disagreeing and remaining cordial we automatically just block people and never speak again.
Based on the situation, I believe in friendships, social media relationships and connections we have online we can resolved some things with a simple conversation. As an adult, you have to be ready for someone to disagree and challenge you. I truly believe because we are used to automatic responses, when someone explains their side of the story and don’t like it we either shut down or stop them from talking to protect our feelings.
Let’s look at five ways you can handle conflict
Schedule a Conversation
- When you schedule a conversation with someone you’ll have the opportunity to gather your thoughts and not spew off with anger with your first reaction. Have heard of the 30 minute rule? Wait at least 30 minutes to respond if something is truly bothering you so you’re able to express your thoughts correctly.
Write Down a few Talking Points
- Write down at least 3-5 talking points to stay on track, usually if you’ve known this person for a while you have to get over the butterflies of disagreement. If both of you value the relationship, then you’ll be able to come to a common ground on how to move forward. Don’t allow fear of losing the relationship to stop you from expressing your points or things will continue to go in the direction that’s been bothering you.
Talk on the Phone or Zoom
- Let’s Chat on the Phone! I believe it’s better to hear someone’s voice giving constructive criticism, than sending a huge email. Again, you can send wrap up points, but it’s better to have a conversation first to see if things can get resolved rather than emailing everything that’s been bottled up.
- Both of you have to come to a resolution on how to move forward, the best way is to write down how you all can navigate through this. For example, if you’ve been working with someone and you don’t like their tone or how they treat you. I would have a conversation to see how you all can move forward and let them know your expectations (Boss, Co-Worker, New Hire etc.) this way you’re able to have open discussion to see if they’re some things on your end that needs to be changed as well.
If You Don’t Say Something, It Will Continue
- Remember rejection can cause fear. If you don’t speak up for yourself then you will allow this same behavior to continue throughout your life. You can’t be passive or afraid of the outcome. If the conversation doesn’t go your way and you lose a relationship. It’s okay. You can’t continue to allow yourself to be pushed to the side. Once you stand up for yourself, you will also see more areas in your life shift differently because you’re not allowing fear or rejection to stop you.